“The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it.”

- Edward R. Murrow

Note: The Blarney Stone is a historical stone, or actually part of the Blarney Castle in Ireland where it was believed that kissing the stone can grant you the gift of gab (great eloquence or skill at flattery).

There will always be people who seem to have the ‘gift of the gab’ — they can talk their way into any job, out of any awkward situation and make others laugh. It seems effortless on their part but there is a lot more for you to know about conversation than you may realize. Talk shows; radio programs; public speaking; ordinary conversations; certain rules still apply when it comes to interaction through words.

It may sound tedious, I know, but even though it’s your mouth that’s doing the work, your brain works extra hard to produce a lot of things you know.

So what better way to start being a more effective communicator than knowing the very person closest to you: yourself.

1. What You Know

Education is all about learning the basics, but to be a confident and effective orator is to practice what you’ve learned.

2. Listening

It’s just as important as asking questions. Practice listening to yourself. Sometimes just by listening to the sound of your own voice you can become more confident in yourself and say the things you believe in with conviction.

3. Humility

We are only too human and therefore we all make mistakes. It’s not uncommon to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means. So don’t be afraid to ask if you’re saying the right word properly and if the audience is unsure about it then you can always make a joke out of it.

4. Eye Contact

It’s important that you keep eye contact when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, as it conveys confidence and ensures your audience does not ignore you.

5. Humor

A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech, especially when the topic is heavy or the speech long. Also if your speech is after several other speakers, the audience may already be half asleep. With humor, you’ll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they’ll feel that you’re just as approachable, and as human as those who listen.

6. Social Interaction

Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You’ll get a lot of ideas, as well as knowing what makes people the way they are..

7. Me, Myself, and I

Ever sung to yourself in the shower, or bath? By listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech you can help correct the stress areas of your pitch.

8. With a Smile

A smile can say it all very much like eye contact, as long as it’s natural and not forced. There’s no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it’s a funeral. You can better express what you’re saying when you smile and people will warm to you more.

9. A Role Model

There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they’re at a public gathering and whom you have admired. Taking a mental note of how they emphasized what they said and what reaction they got can help you once you take center stage.

10. Preparation

Preparation is everything and will show in your speech. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while others learn the speech verbatim. Just be comfortable with what you know and what works for you.

And that about sums it up. These are only suggestions though and they may seem rather amateurish, but they have helped me in any public or private speaking. It also never hurts to be with people and listen how they make conversations and meetings far more enjoyable as well as educational. Copy from the best.

   “即便是最新型的电脑也只能在速度上调节人类关系的最古老问题，最后交流者还是得面临这一原始问题：该说些什么？如何说出口？”——爱德华·默罗

注：巧言石是一块具有历史意义的石头。实际上，它是爱尔兰布拉尼城堡的一部分，相传亲吻此石后即变得能说会道（善于花言巧语）。

总有那么一些人似乎“能说会道”- 他们不仅能够用自己的方式谈论任何事情，摆脱任何困境，还总是能够逗得别人发笑。

对他们来说，这一切似乎都来得不费摧毁之力。但是，除了你可能已经了解到的会谈要诀外，还有更多有关会谈方面的知识是你必须知道的。谈话节目；广播节目；公共演讲；普通会话；当通过文字互动时，需要应用到一些特定的规则。

我知道，这听起来可能会有点单调乏味，但是即便只是你的嘴巴在进行演讲，你的大脑也还是在极为努力地运转着，在脑海中衍生你所熟知的许多东西。所以，对于学习如何成为一名令人更为印象深刻的交流者来说，还有比了解最接近你的那个人-你自己本人，来得更好的方式么？

1. 你知道什么

教育只是学习基本知识。但是，如何成为一名既自信又令人印象深刻的演讲者却是如何将你所学过的知识进行实践应用。

2. 倾听

倾听和发问来得一样重要。练习倾听你自己的声音。有时候只要通过倾听你自己的声音，你就会对自己感到更加自信，并敢于说出你自己深信不疑的东西。

3. 谦卑

我们都非圣人，所以我们所有人都会犯错。我们都会含糊发音，说话口吃或可能发错音，即便我们知道这都意味着什么，这些现象都是司空见惯的。所以，请不要害怕询问你是否用适当的方式说出了正确的词语。此外，通常当听众对这个词并不确定时，你也可以对此一笑置之。

4. 目光接触

在会议或聚会上同一大群听众谈话时，必须同听众保持目光上地接触，这一点尤为重要。因为目光接触不仅能够传达自信，还能保证你的听众不会忽视你。

5. 幽默

进行演讲时，特别是当演讲的主题很是沉重或是演讲过于冗长时，一点点小幽默确实对提高紧张度或消除讨厌的厌恶感具有意想不到的效果。同样地，如果你是在众多演讲者之后才开始演讲的话，听众们可能早已处在半昏睡的状态了。但是，只要使用一些小幽默，大部分的听众将会对你的演讲给予一定的关注。此外，他们还将觉得你同听众们来得一样地平易近人，一样地人性化。

6. 社会互动

互动即为同其他人的交融。你将会获得许多的想法。同样地，你也会知道究竟是什么让人们变为现在所见的那个样子。

7. 我，我自己/我本人

你曾今在淋浴或洗澡时对自己唱过歌么？练习演讲时，可通过倾听自己的声音帮助你调节音调的强调部分。

8. 面带微笑

只要自然并主动地微笑，微笑可说同目光接触来得一样地举足轻重。除非是在葬礼上，否则在会议或是聚会上没有理由一脸痛苦或郁闷。当你微笑时，你不仅能够更好地表达你所要说的东西，人们也将会更热情地回应你。

9. 行为榜样

在你生活中至少得有一个或两个的人可作为你的行为榜样。这些榜样必须是你在公共聚会上见过他们演讲，并且对他们赞赏有加的人。有意识地记住他们强调所要表达内容的方式及他们所做的反应。一旦你站上舞台中心时，这这些对你来说都是极其有帮助的。

10. 准备

准备是一切的基础。你的演讲是否准备充分，这在演讲中将会体现出来。有些人习惯只在索引卡上写下一些纲要，但有些人习惯逐字逐句地背下演讲稿。哪种方式为你熟知，哪种方式对你有效，你就采用哪种方式吧。

最后就是关于如何结束演讲。我有一些小小的建议：虽然这些建议看起来相当业余，但是，不论是在公共还是在私人的演讲会上，它们确实让我受益匪浅。同人们进行讨论并倾听他们如何使谈话或/会议变得更为愉快，更具教育意义，这一点有百利而无一害。效仿最佳做法。