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What I Have Lived For

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Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.


I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found.


With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.


Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.


This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.


我为何而生


  三种情感,虽朴实却无比强烈地主宰着我的生命:对爱情的渴望,对知识的求索,以及对人类所遭受苦难的不可遏制的同情。这些激情似飓风,肆意地使我飘忽不定的心灵掠过茫茫苦海,又坠落到绝望的边缘。


我追寻爱,首先因为爱能使我神魂颠倒——这种体验如此强烈,我甚至愿意以余生换取哪怕片刻的消魂。我追寻爱,因为它可排解孤独——处在这可畏的孤独之中,一颗颤抖的灵魂掠过世界的边缘,能够窥视冷酷荒寂的万丈深渊。最后,我追寻爱,还因为在爱的交融中,圣贤和诗人们想象的天国的景象,像神秘的袖珍画像一样,映入眼帘.这就是我所寻找的,尽管它对人生来讲可能太完美,但至少是我亲眼所见。


我以同样的激情追求知识。我希冀能够了解人类的内心世界。我希望能够知道群星为何闪烁。我试图领悟毕达哥拉斯所景仰的数字的永恒力量,它统掌乾坤.在这方面我略有成就,但还不够.


  爱和知识是最有可能引领我升入天国。但怜悯之心总是把我拉回人世。我的心中回荡着人类痛苦的呼喊。嗷嗷待哺的儿童,惨遭蹂躏的受难者,被儿女视为累赘的孤苦无助的老人,以及满世界的孤独、贫困和痛苦都是对人类理想生活的嘲弄。我期望减少邪恶,但力不从心,我自己也备受其害。


这就是我的人生。但我觉得颇有价值,如果再有机会,我将欣然重活一次。

简评:


本文选自《伯特兰·罗素自传》的一篇优秀散文。人民大学等几所高校研究生院曾把当作英语专业的翻译试题,以前曾译过,今又有人拿来询问,索性把它整理出来罢.此文既是作者心灵的抒发,也是生命体验的总结。作者以深刻的感悟和敏锐的目光,分析了人生中的三种激情,对爱的渴望,使人欣喜若狂,既能解除孤独,又能发现美好的未来。对知识的追求,使人理解人心,了解宇宙,掌握科学。爱和知识把人引向天堂般的境界,而对人类的同情之心又使人回到苦难深重的人间。作者认为这就是人生,值得为此再活一次的人生。这篇散文似乎信手拈来,但却耐人寻味。充满激情,充满感慨,充满智慧,情文并茂,逻辑性和感染力极强。


作者简介:


伯特兰·罗素(Bertrand Russell,1872-1970)是英国声誉卓著,影响深远的哲学家、数学家、逻辑学家和散文家。他生于威尔士的特莱雷克,就读于剑桥三一学院,在其漫长的一生中完成了40余部著作,涉及哲学、数学、伦理、社会、教育、历史、宗教及政治等许多领域。他早年的成就主要在数学和逻辑学,中年关注伦理道德、教育、政治,激励和启发富有进取精神的人。在1921年曾来中国,在北京大学作过讲座。他在1950年荣获诺贝尔文学奖。在政治上,他反对侵略战争,主张和平,晚年参加反战示威。主要著作有《数学原理》、《哲学大纲》、《教育与美好生活》、《罗素自传》三卷本。

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